Sunday, June 10, 2012
An ode to my husband, yes I mean you Mike!
Don't look so surprised Mike, this post is for you!
Like many couples we vacillate between getting ready to call a family lawyer and tolerating our spouses. Of course we have some good times too, or we wouldn’t be together.
But in honor of Father’s day and my husband’s birthday I thought I would write a post about Dads today, (ok there has to be a little humor too).
They are super involved with their kids; I swear my father sometimes would forget we were there. My husband needs to be accosted to leave the house, and to not get so involved with the kids.
For years I pretended that I was about to cook which is why I couldn't change the baby's diaper, however we ate heat and eat foods. But hubby dutifully changed the baby's diaper anyway - despite the facts. :)
I don't think my father could change a baby's diaper at gunpoint. My mother left him 'in charge' of us (meant we did what we wanted or what he said while he watched TV and we got him beers) and my sibling pooped and he drove 15 mins to a friends house for the friends Dad to change the diaper - yes, that was Dads back then. My mother then was advised to take us (3 kids 3.5 yrs apart) shopping (without a car) with her in future so she can take care of such things while she was shopping. But that was typical of Dads back then.
My husband goes to medical appointments and knows the doctors and ailments fairly well. My Dad didn't know where the doctors were, I think he only went to the doctors once with one of us girls while Mum was home nursing my brother with the measles.
My husband can get the kids ready in the morning, almost without help. He may forget it is Pizza day or Show and Tell or to pass notes to the bus or teacher but he will dress them (so they are not naked, matching clothes is for moms), feed them something (most of the time) and pack their lunches and bags. I don't think my father could do any one of those tasks unprompted. That was considered woman's work back then.
My husband can return a call to the teacher (with consultation from Mum sometimes) and send emails to teachers, coaches, after school activities etc. He can also be encouraged to set up play dates with some handholding and reminding of the rules. I love not having to be the only one handling everything Kid related. Also I like when I check notes/emails/status with him. My father’s view of play was sending me out to the fenced yard and let loose. I think he went to a parent teacher meeting once, maybe twice my whole schooling. Dads didn't have to get involved in schooling back then.
He can pick up a child and give him a snack often without reminding (as if they didn't remember how ravenous they were after school as a kid). He can get them ready for another activity too, if warned. My father was never around when I got back from school or if he was, he was too busy doing things to get involved in trivialities as such.
He can shop & cook with (some support if it is to be healthy and easy). My father use to make a huge mess for my mother the half a dozen times he cooked. My husband cleans up, my dad I don’t think ever did dishes. In fact I am not sure I saw many men back then do dishes either.
He can put the kids to bed (he won’t do mom things like make sure that child ate or went potty earlier so he doesn’t get up, but that is a mom thing anyway). But the important fact is that I feel comfortable going out at night if I want/need to.
He has been trained to get up at night if needed by the kids, and once nudged he will go. I am not sure my father even knew we got up. Dads didn’t do that back then.
Not trying to beat up on my Dad just trying to point out how far Dads have come these days. My Dad was typical of many men back in the day. My husband is a little more amenable than others but I think it is safe to say many Dads today do MUCH more than their Dads did.
Anyway HAPPY FATHERS DAY Mike and HAPPY FATHERS DAY to my Dad too!
And Happy Fathers Day to all you Dads out there.