Ok got your attention, you know what this blog is about, you've heard it all before. But just in case.
What is a parent, or a mom? Is she the chief organizer of the kids schedule (it is a popular activity in our house). Lists are made, clutter is attacked. Kids are asked what they want for dinner, what activities they want to do, what they want to wear, where they want to go, etc. this style is all about options. Ok I do allow my kids some options but some are not negotiable such as dinner and some activities, etc.
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C 2012 Mt Hotham VIC, Australia |
Or is she a kids guidance leader and authoritative (but not authoritarian)? Can someone ask my kids if this style is ok with them please? She gives the kids too much information and overloads them with knowledge. She will tell them that they should follow the rules because what if everyone did what they wanted, etc. sometimes this works for some kids but others may need concrete rules.
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C 2012 |
Is she a hip mama, all about appearance and latest parenting strategies? This parent seems approachable and wears her baby, sleeps with her baby, buys organic food (prefers from her garden or local farm) and mills it herself. Kids are given plenty of freedom (after all she is too busy gardening and milling).
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C 2012 |
Or is she a student of child behaviour where kids behavior is studied ad infinitum. Therefore nothing is the child's fault but a symptom of some other thought or behaviour. Maybe she is reading child development books and obsessing over the implications.
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C 2012 |
Perhaps she is a girl mom or a boy mom? She is an expertly in one gender and perhaps insensitive and generalizing the opposite gender? ie boys will be boys, or all girls are moody? Or assuming all gender specific behavior is the parents fault and not genetics or nature. Or vice versa assuming no responsibility to work with kids to challenge gender behaviors.
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C 2012 |
How about the absent parent either physically or mentally? Ie disengaging when divorced etc. (tricky stuff as divorce is still so prevalent thesedays). Do these parents eliminate some responsibility to the kids also?
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Brooklyn Bridge C 2012 |
Or lastly and least (IMO) the do as I do parent, who eats well, has a fulfilling occupation, treats people nicely (not just on Sunday's) doesn't assume gender roles (remember the bra burning days? People assumed too many gender specific behaviors back then). Has morals and ethics and isn't apathetic? Let me know where these people are? But it is definitely worth striving for.
XO
loved reading this post! you have a flair for writing for sure, i wish i had that sense of humor :) keep it up..
ReplyDeleteOh I'd love to tell what kind of parent I think I am, but if parenting is a job, then there would a performance review, and someone would have to ask my kids what they think of me..
I would like to be the parent that doesn't judge, or stammer when the kids ask a question, or yell (unless I really really must) or worse have an agenda with my kids. I'd like to listen,
be the parent that knows what they are talking about, doesn’t pretend to know if they don’t!!(but there’s not a lot that they don’t know about :)), and can make wonderful small talk to the kids..
As soon as I find the store that sells this, I'll be set..
Thank you!
ReplyDeleteMy kids will say that I am too tough on them but I suspect most kids will say that anyway.
I'd also love to be more patient when they talk (even if they just interrupted me), but don't I also have to teach them not to interrupt? Anyway's I could do things a little softer.
Good to compare stories, thanks.